My name is Stephanie Stogsdill. I [was] a 21-year-old mother of a 14-month-old son, Mikey. I [was] also a senior at Missouri S & T in civil engineering. My husband [was] a paramedic student at RTC. I am lucky enough to be involved in The Partnership’s Young Parents Program.
I moved to Rolla 15 days before my due date. I was not familiar with the area. I have no family here and I had only one friend at the time. Fortunately, shortly after my son was born, I was referred to the Young Parents Program.
The program has been a godsend to me. It has provided me a network for assistance in raising my child. I was given a trained mentor who was familiar with the community and someone that I always knew I could call on for anything. Through the program’s activities I made friends with other moms while learning about the latest childcare information. Our reward for participation is being able to buy baby supplies with our “baby bucks”. It is very hard for two college students to make ends meet, so being able to get diapers, wipes, and other supplies for the baby is a huge help.
The program made a huge difference to us almost immediately when we tried to find childcare. Although I had put Mikey’s name on the waiting list at the daycare I wanted, the minute I knew I was pregnant, I had three different daycares fall through at the last minute, each for different reasons. I was distraught. In desperation I called Shayla, the Young Parents Coordinator [at the time]. Through her contacts, she put together a list of good daycare providers and I finally found one that not only had an opening, but that I liked. Mikey has been very happy there.
The program has also helped me to find answers to childrearing questions. My son loves to play outside -- in fact I think he would sleep outside if we would let him. A few months ago he started throwing horrible tantrums when we made him come in the house. I tried everything I could think of but nothing seemed to work. I thought I was a failure as a parent because of my son’s behavior. At my wits end, I went to see Shayla. She gave me a book that had an excellent section on fits. I had to warn Mikey that we would be going inside in a few minutes, and then tell him that his time was up. If he threw a fit after that, I should hold him to comfort him and tell him that I understand that he likes to be outside but we have to go in and that we could go back out the next day. The most important thing was not to give in and to stay calm and comfort him while he was throwing his fit. The book made me realize that he wasn’t just trying to be defiant -- he was just frustrated because he couldn’t stay outside. After a few times of this he almost completely quit throwing these fits. Now we have a few tears but he is adjusting to this method very well. Our lives are much happier now!
Now that I’ve been on both the giving and the receiving end, I really understand the difference being involved with the community can make in someone’s life. I plan to raise my son to be involved and am looking for an activity that we can do together as a family – when he gets a little older!
Without the Young Parents Program I would not have as many good tools or such a powerful support network for raising my son. While these resources have been vitally important to me, even more important is the self-confidence I see developing in myself and the other parents in the group as we become successful and responsible in various aspects of our lives -- from relationships to education -- but mostly as we learn to raise our children with love and respect. That’s what this program has done for me. Thank you.